I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize