I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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