He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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