when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
