I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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