is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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