Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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