Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
