so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
