The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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