Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
