She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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