why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
