the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
