you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
