He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
