i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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