omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
