I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
