this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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