(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
