I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
