My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
