Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
vagina is talking i cant
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
