Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize