So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh god it's open bar.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
