Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
