why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.