my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic