You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
