do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize