you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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