Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
