no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
