using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
