I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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