told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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