yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
