i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
