Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.