Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
