There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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