Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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