like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
