you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
