They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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