**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize