I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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