The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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