Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
