Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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