3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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