I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
