***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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