Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
