if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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