His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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