Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
