Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Enjoy the penises
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
