I'm gonna have a badass scar
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
