guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
