after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
