dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
