When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
