just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
