I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
